Birthday Conversations
by Newbie08
Summary: How one little boy's birthday wish gives our favorite duo a push in the right direction.


Hello everyone! This is my attempt at the May 2011 challenge on the HBX Archives, hopefully this meets the requirements. Also, I know the title is kind of sucky, but for some reason that was the best I could come up with. :-\

In order for this to work a few things need to be mentioned. One, this is set somewhere between seasons nine and ten because it helps explain the tension between Harm and Mac. Two, for the purposes of this story little AJ is six and his birthday is in May. I do not know if it is accurate timing or information and if it isn't I appologize. Feel free to correct me for future references.

And to go off topic for a moment, for those of you waiting for an update on 'The importance of Today,' don't worry, its about half way done.

This is unedited and unbetad so all mistakes are courtesy of me. And the section in _italics _is a flashback.

Robert's Home  
>Alexandria, VA<br>Memorial Day, 2004

I walk around the back yard of my friends home, looking around at all the deocrations, games and food, thinking about how they out did themselves once again with this years party. For as long as I've known Harriet she's always been quite the hostess. There has never been a party that she's thrown that was anything less then spectacular, and this one is no exception.

This is a holiday barbeque and a birthday party for my oldest god child all wrapped into one, just as little AJ had wanted. He told me it was a good way to get his friends and his adopted JAG family together at the same time. He is such a smart boy, that godson of mine. He received all high marks on his progress report from school the other day and he is such a good help to Bud and Harriet with his younger siblings.

But for such a smart boy, he is rather dense when it comes to the human emotions. Sure I know he's only six but sometimes I wish he knew more about the facts of life . Such as when it is considered appropriate to ask adults questions about their love lives. I mean, if he wasn't so cute about it, I think his questions would've hurt more than it did when he asked me.

You see, the other day he and I sat down to eat our ice creams at the park and to talk about what he wanted for his birthday…

_It was a warm seventy-five degrees outside in the middle of May. It was such a nice day out that I promised my favorite little guy a day at the park, just him, me and our ice cream cones. I had been meaning to ask Bud and Harriet what it was that AJ wanted for his birthday but every time I thought about calling something involving work got in the way. _

_So when I finally did reach Harriet over the phone she agreed to let me take AJ out for a day at the park so he could tell me himself. There was something in her voice that implied secrecy, like she knew what he wanted already but didn't want to tell me; like this was something she felt I needed to hear from AJ myself._

_As we sat under his favorite tree by the swings, finishing up our ice cream cones I knew it was time for us to start talking. So, I playfully jabbed him in his belly with my elbow like hes done to me so many times over the years to get his attention then asked, "So little man, I hear your birthday party is coming up."_

_I looked over at him to see his reaction expecting a smile from ear to ear, only to find that he didn't have much of a reaction at all, just a little shrug of his shoulders, almost as if he didn't care whether he had a party or not. I knew something wasn't right when I seen that reaction. After all, this was Harriet's kid, he gets excited over Play-dough._

"_There has to be something special that you want. A toy that none of youre friends have, or even a bike." I glanced over in AJ's direction again to find him pulling the blades of grass out of the ground between him and myself. My heart broke a little bit at the sight of him; I had never seen him so solemn before. "Everything okay, AJ?"_

_When he shook his head 'no,' causing his blonde locks to shake about on his head ,I reached over and grabbed a hold of his hand. "Honey what's wrong?" _

_I watched as he inhaled deeply then blew it out, like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders. I hate seeing my favorite little guy in such distress. "I don't like it when you and Uncle Harm fight. It makes me sad."_

_My heart skipped a beat at his admission for many reasons. For starters I didn't even think he knew when Harm and I had fought. He never gave any inclination that the tension from mine and Harm's previous confrontations had bothered him. He was always this happy, cheerful little boy that had a smile on his face. _

_I reached over and picked AJ up from his perch at my side and placed him on my lap, missing all the times when he was smaller and he would just climb up to cuddle with me. I ran my fingers through his hair then placed my hand on his chin, lifting his gaze to mine. The look of sadness in his eyes takes my breath away "What makes you think Uncle Harm and I are fighting?"_

_He inhaled deeply again, seemingly trying to possess the strength of someone three times his age. "The other day when you guys were over for dinner you didn't really talk to each other. And when mommy and daddy do that it means they were fighting."_

_I took in his features in an effort to stall my answer. How do I go about telling a six year old that two of his favorite people in the world aren't talking because we can't seem to get our acts together? How do I tell him that Harm and I aren't talking because I continue to push him away._

"_Honey, Uncle Harm and I aren't talking because we had a fight." I was trying to keep it simple, not knowing how to explain this type of situation to a young child and secretly hoping that he wouldn't be too inquisitive about it. _

"_Then how come you and Uncle Harm aren't talking? Did he do something bad?" When AJ asked me that question I knew this wasn't going to be easy. His constant cheeriness wasn't the only thing he got from his mother. He also got her curious nature._

"_Listen, buddy, sometimes there are some things that adults have to go through that aren't always easy to deal with. And unfortunately, that means those who are around the adult feel sad too. This just happens to be one of those situations." When AJ nodded his head in understanding I realeased a sigh of relief. _

"_You know that me and your Uncle Harm love you very much, don't you?" When he nodded his head again, sending his blonde hair flailing about I leaned forward to kiss his forehead. _

_After a few minutes of AJ's foreahead resting on my chin, he looked up at me and said, "You know I love you, right Auntie Sarah?" I tried hard not to crease my brow and show my confusion at his question. Of course I knew he loved me, I just couldn't figure out why he felt the need to ask. _

_I smiled brightly then nodded my head vigorously, bringing a smile to his face and mine. "Good." After a short pause from AJ he said, "I know what I want for my birthday." I looked up at him with a furrowed brow, bringing out a laugh from deep within his chest. He always loves it when I look at him that way._

"_Well good. What is it?" I felt his little hands find their way into my own before I heard him say, "I want to see you smile. The way Uncle Harm says you smile just for him." The little bit of oxygen that was in my lungs rushed out at his statement. I don't know what got to me more, the fact that Harm knew about the smiles I reserved just for him, the fact that he told little AJ about them or the fact that AJ only wanted to see that type of smile on my face._

_I didn't want to question AJ's statement because I knew I'd over analyze our entire conversation and now was not the time for that. The sun was beginning to set and it was about time we started heading home. I gave my favorite little guy a 'squeeze hug' as he likes to call them, then we headed back to the car…._

I feel myself swinging, suddenly. Taking in my surroundings its occurs to me that during my musings I managed to find my way to the hammock that little AJ and Jimmy love so much. So now I sit swinging slowly, watching as Harriet adds another gift for AJ on the gift table.

AJ sees me from across the yard and decides to run over and I laugh as he dives onto the hammock, making me swing just a little bit faster, laughing while he does so. As soon as hes situated, he settles himself by my side and under my arm, hugging my middle. I lean down and kiss his head before saying, "So what do you think of your party?" He shrugs his shoulders, much like he did that day we were in the park.

"It's okay I guess. I'm still waiting for my present." He looks up at me with a bit of mischief in his eyes. He really is too smart for his own good. Too emotionally drained to have a deep conversation with him I decide to play coy. "Gift? You already got your favorite video games from me and Uncle Harm."

"What about Uncle Harm?" I heard his steps before I heard his voice. I should've known he'd come over here; he and I hadn't spoken since work Friday afternoon and I had a feeling Harriet let him in on the gift AJ really wanted. I look at him as he leans against one of the trees the hammock is attatched too. He looks good. Well, extremely handsome is more like it. There is just something about this man that makes my head spin and my belly turn into butterflies every time he looks at me.

I watch as he smiles brightly at AJ then when he looks at me the intensity in his gaze lessens along with the wattage of his smile, and I can't stop my heart from hurting just a little bit. "Hi Mac," I hear him say. I know my mouth just moved but I don't recall what came out of it because before I know whats going on Harm is picking little AJ up into his arms. He settles himself down at my side where AJ used to be, before putting our godson on his lap, with his little legs covering mine.

I can feel my heart rate accelerating at lightening speed, knowing it has everything to do with the man brushing up against my side. "So how have you been, little man. Are you taking good care of Auntie Sarah?" AJ smiles brightly and nods his head, bringing a bright smile to Harm's face and a small one to my own.

I survey the yard, silently praying either Bud or Harriet announce that its time for presents or the cake or anything, to get me out of my current position. Harm and I have yet to have _the_ talk, the one that could possible change both of our lives, for better or for worse. But no such luck.

I've been trying my hardest to avoid his gaze, knowing I'm going to see some things I'm not quite ready to see just yet. In my heart of hearts I know I'm treating him rather terribly but somewhere in my subconcious I feel like I should give Harm a break. After all, _I'm_ the one who has been pushing him away, _I'm_ the one who said never. Yet he's the one who keeps coming back.

Suddenly I feel his strong hand envelope mine where it rested on little AJ's leg. I look up at him just as he asks, "Is this okay?" It's then I realize what a complete idiot I have been with him. The look of sadness in his eyes nearly takes my breath away. Have I been so horrible to him that he feels that devasted? Have I really been so awful that hes afraid to touch me?

I nod my head , letting him know that the contact is okay with me. Suddenly feeling very drained, I rest my head on his shoulder, temporarily forgetting that little AJ is still with us in the hammock. For right now, all I can feel and think about his Harm. This solid form to my right that is currently holding my hand and supporting my head. I release a rush of air from my lungs, feeling like a huge weight had just been removed from me.

"I miss you, Mac," I hear him whisper into the late afternoon air, causing the bangs resting on my forehead to move, before he places a soft kiss to the top of my head. I squeeze his hand in response, not wanting to ruin the moment we're in.

I look up at Harm and smile softly; it's then I realize little AJ is still with us. Suddenly, I see a bright smile light up my godson's face and before I know it hes launching himself into my arms. "That's that present I was looking for, Auntie Sarah," he says into my ear. I chuckle softly before looking up at Harm to find him winking at AJ.

Harm ruffles the little boys hair before he jumps down to go and play with his friends and family. My head immediately falls back onto Harm's shoulder and our fingers entwine once again. I know that Harm and I have some things to talk about and work through, but for right now I'm content and my favorite little guy is happy. And for now, that is all I need.


End file.
